The Adventures of Captain Peroxide and Deadboy
The Angel/Spike Zone of the BtVS Writer's Guild
35 Writing Tips
(Sent to me by my mother who finds my slash habit terribly amusing. List originally posted at www.ruralheritage.com, hence the editor's note at the bottom.)
1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. One should never generalize.
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also, too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments please.
11. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
12. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
13. Avoid cliches like the plague—they're old hat.
14. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
15. Don't use no double negatives.
16. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
17. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
18. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
19. The passive voice is to be ignored.
20. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
21. Never use a big word when substituting a diminutive one would suffice.
22. Kill all exclamation points!!! If you don't, the editor will kill them for you!!
23. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
24. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
25. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
26. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
27. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
28. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
29. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
30. Who needs rhetorical questions?
31. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
32. Avoid buzz-words—such integrated transitional scenarios complicate simplistic matters.
33. There are better ways to start a sentence.
34. To editors "very" is a 4-letter word.
35. Finally, proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
We do not pretend to have originated these tips, but we did add a few of our own and have posted them here because they include many of our editorial pet peeves.
Back to Essays