The Adventures of Captain Peroxide and Deadboy
The Angel/Spike Zone of the BtVS Writer's Guild
Out Of The Dark
by Avarice
Rating: R
Summary: Spike has a little Chat with Angel during In the Dark.
"You know, you didn't have to make this so hard on yourself, Angelus," The blond vampire commented as he took slow, unhurried steps back and forth in front of the dangling manacles.
(( Idiot )) Spike thought to himself. (( Don't think being silent is going to get you out of me telling you exactly what I think of you ))
"It could have been so simple," the blond continued out loud, gesturing with his hands. "I torture you for a bit, you give me the gem, I torture you some more," Spike stopped and waggled his eyebrows "because it's fun..." He shrugged when he got no response and took up walking again. "and we go back to our unlives. But no," he spun, duster billowing about his legs. "You had to change everything.
"You never did know when to quit, y'know. And because you don't know how to stop, you end up turning things upside-down." Spike held out five fingers and counted off. "Recently, without your foofy soul, you didn't know when enough was overkill.. I mean, sucking the world into Hell? What the fuck were you thinking with? Certainly not that lump of cold, grey matter concealed with gel three foot above your arse... didn't stop to think about, oh, how Hell would seriously deplete our food supply, or how vampires, being demon-human hybrids aren't exactly at the top of the demon chain of command. D'you think they would've congratulated you? Pat you on the back and said 'Well done, Angelus me old fruit'?
"No! We *all* would've been lucky to escape severe torturings at the hands of the Old Ones for lower demons such as ourselves to even broach their realm. You didn't think of that. You don't think." He paused for a moment before adding "Wanker."
The blond pointed to another finger of his held up hand. "Then there was the whole shagging of the Slayer in the first place.. I know you didn't know the curse had a bloody clause on it... but did you even contemplate the notion that you're fucking a mortal enemy? The chit who day in, day out, kills our kind?" Spike held up a hand to silence any protests that might come forward. "Don't try and deny you're one of us. You may inhabit the body of a man -- but you're not one. You may have a soul -- but that doesn't make you a man. If you were a man, you could walk out of here into the sunlight. If you were a man, you wouldn't have to rely on a liquid diet. You're a demon. A demon with a conscience -- but still a demon. But I digress... No qualms about shagging our mortal enemy, eh? You got a whiff of Slayer cunt and you were in like Flynn. Didn't even think about the consequences of that little piece of tail, did you? Didn't think about how that would change everything, did you?" The manacles clinked together hollowly in response. Spike was satisfied and continued.
"No. You never think about the consequences of your actions. I'm as much a live-in-the-moment guy as anyone else, but you bring a whole new definition to the words 'not looking before you leap'.
"You are so effin' self-centred you just think everything's going to be okay. No matter how much of the brooding you show your so-called 'friends'," Spike chuckled cruelly at those words. "You think it'll all work out. If you don't save them, they're going to come and save you. Well, newsflash Paingel, it doesn't always work like that, and this moment is proof. Now don't let's get sidetracked, I had a list to go through.." The blond counted through his fingers again and murmured. "Acathala... Slayer skirt... ah yes... the stupid Rom bitch that started all this 'I've got a soul' bollocks to begin with."
Spike took a small breath. "WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK DID Y'THINK YOU WERE DOING?!" he yelled before settling down. "Of all the stupid things you could do... feeding off a flamin' gypsy? You taught me not to go after them if I could help it, because they were big with the vengeance! You told me there were plenty of other humans in the world that didn't know spells to turn blokes inside out and think day was night without going after the ones that did! I don't care if she was a gift from your bitch of a sire, you could have found some way around it! Fer christ's sake, you had her wrapped around your cock, you were the Favored, you could have thought of a way to refuse and she still would've thought the sun shone out of your BLOODY ARSE!
"But no," Spike visibly inhaled in the attempt to calm himself down. "far be it from the great Angelus," he drew shapes of flowers in the air with one finger "to refuse a gift from your sire. To say 'no thanks, I'm sort of full' to the get of the Fruit Bat. No, you couldn't refuse and you changed everything again." He noted the abject silence and took it as cause to continue.
Spike looked down at his hand and numbered off the fourth finger, and spoke one word:
"Drusilla."
That single name was spoken with such venom and acrimony it needed no further explanation. And the blond moved on to his final finger. Spike wiggled his pinky in the air and a grin touched his face. "D'you recognize this point? Let me give you a hint.. it was a young dark haired lad living in the streets of London. Part-time cutpurse, part-time murderer, full-time scoundrel. He ran into some long-haired Irish beefcake one night while piss-bolting from someone who'd had their wallet stolen, and never saw the sun rise again.
"You made me. You taught me. You cared for me. And d'you know what you did to change everything?" The younger vampire's azure eyes blazed with hurt and unshed tears. "You made me love you. When I had no-one else... loved no-one else in my living or unliving existence, you made me love you. Me."
Spike's eyes crinkled slightly as he barely smiled and reminisced. "D'you remember the nights of hunting and feeding and fucking? The absolute carnal pleasure you got from taking me while standing over the bodies of our victims? In Paris, where you actually drained the blood of those three whores into a tub and we bathed in it until the blood went cold?"
His eyes lost their shine. "D'you remember the nights when you gave me to Darla to be tortured, because she couldn't bear the thought of this skinny man taking all her precious Angelus' time away from her? The nights where you wouldn't let me sleep in your bed, because it would be unseemly if I shared it automatically?" The blond's voice dropped to a whisper. "The nights I told you I loved you and you never once answered me?
"You made me love you. You changed me. Never thought about what repercussions that might have, did you..."
Spike straightened up and dropped his hand with the five points on it. He turned back to the manacles dangling from the ceiling. "But you're not the only fellow that can change, Angelus. You assumed you were up against the same old Spike. But you were wrong. Did you think you breaking down and apologizing for Dru.. for me... for everything was going to make a difference to me? Did you think for one second that telling me now that you loved me, and you always had, would make me let you go?!
"No. For once, I made the decision and I changed everything before you sodding well could." Spike looked at his left hand and saw the ring -- set with the nondescript gem -- gleam coldly. "And this time, I'm the winner. I'm leaving you, and I've won." The blond vampire laughed, a sound that cut harshly through the warehouse and echoed. He walked forward and kicked out at the mound of dust piled neatly under the dangling manacles, scattering it to the wind.
"Rot in Hell, Angel" Spike murmured as he stepped over the broken bodies of the cheerleader, the half-demon and the werewolf and out into the sun.
End.